Here are 10 Tips for Dads with Daughters to help smooth the path
Listen to your daughter - Focus on what is really important, what my
daughter thinks, believes, feels, dreams and does ,rather than how she looks. You have
a profound influence on how my daughter views herself. When I value my daughter for
her true self, give her confidence to use her talents in the world.
Encourage your daughters strengths. Help her learn to recognize, resist and
overcome barriers. Help her develop her strengths to achieve her goals, help other
people and help herself. I help her be what Girls Incorporated calls Strong, Smart and
Bold!
Respect her uniqueness and encourage her to respect herself. As a father
tell and show my daughter that you love her for who she is and see her as a whole
person, capable of anything. Yoour daughter is likely to choose a life partner who
acts like you and has your values. So, treat her and those she loves with respect.
Remember 1) growing girls need to eat often and healthy; 2) fad dieting doesn’t work,
and 3) she has her body for what it can do, not how it looks.
Advertisers spend billions to convince my daughter she doesn’t look 'right'. Don’t
buy into it.
Promote physical activity. Start young to play catch, tag, jump rope,
basketball, Frisbee, hockey, soccer, or just take walks - you name it! Help your daughter learn
the great things her body can do. Physically active girls are less likely to get
pregnant, drop out of school, or put up with abuse. The most physically active girls
have fathers who are active with them!
Be aware of you daughters school activities and performance. Volunteer,
chaperone, read to her class. I ask questions, like: Does her school use media literacy
and body image awareness programs? Does it tolerate sexual harassment of boys or girls?
Do more boys take advanced math and science classes and if so, why? (California
teacher Doug Kirkpatrick’s girl students didn’t seem interested in science, so he
changed his methods and their participation soared!) Are at least half the student
leaders girls?
Know what your daughter likes to do. Volunteer to drive, coach, direct a
play, teach a class. Demand equality. Texas mortgage officer and volunteer basketball
coach Dave Chapman was so appalled by the gym his 9-year-old daughter’s team had to
use, he fought to open the modern boys gym to the girls’ team. He succeeded. Dads make
a difference!
Make it a girls world. This world holds dangers for our daughters. But
over-protection doesn’t work, and it tells my daughter that I don’t trust her!
Instead, work with other parents to demand an end to violence against females,
media sexualization of girls, pornography, advertisers making billions feeding on our
daughters’ insecurities, and all boys are better than girls attitudes.
Involve your daughter in your life. Participate in Take Your
Daughters & Sons to Work Day and make sure my business participates. Show her how you
pay bills and manage money. Your daughter will have a job and pay rent some day, so you
will introduce her to the world of work and finances!
Support positive alternative media for girls. Watch programs family that
portray smart savvy girls. We get healthy girl-edited magazines like New Moon and
visit online girl-run 'zines' and websites. I won’t just condemn what’s bad; I’ll
also support and use media that support my daughter!
Learn from other fathers. Together, fathers of daughters have reams of
experience, expertise and encouragement to share so let’s learn from each other. I use
tools like the newsletter Daughters: For Parents of Girls (www.daughters.com). Put
your influence to work for example, Dads and Daughters protests have stopped negative
ads. It works when you work together!
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